Today I feel like Laman and Lemuel. All I have done, and all I want to do, is murmur, murmur, murmur. I can't seem to rid myself of this funk and I can't quite put my finger on why I've been so whiny. What frustrates me most of all, though, is that I just can't be like Nephi, never complaining and certainly never murmuring--not even when his brothers try to kill him on several occasions--not even when they tie him to the mast of a ship and leave him there to suffer, hungry and cold, in the tempestuous weather, enduring sore afflictions. Does Nephi complain amidst all that? No. Instead he declares, "I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions." Darn that Nephi for being so good and darn me for being such a murmurer. Just in case you're wondering, and just to prove to you that I am no Nephi, here's what I've been murmuring about:
- It's HOT. So hot and so humid that I am melting. I wasn't made for this kind of heat. And I have absolutely no access to any sort of water--no town pool I can join, no lake close by, no friends with a pool. I spent the day googling pools and all I could find were two: one costing $415 to join for the summer and another $800 to be part of their exclusive country club and thus have access to their pool. If you think I'm paying $415 to join a pool, you're out of your mind. I guess I'll just suffer. But not in silence.
- On that note, due to the heat, all I want to do is eat ice cream--all day long. And I'm trying to be healthy, trying to lose those last few pounds. But it's too hot to exercise and it's too hot to cook, but it's never too hot to eat ice cream. Never. Maybe I'll just sweat off the weight.
- I just spent my life's savings on airplane tickets to fly home. We will be on the plane for 8.5 hours. I could fly to Europe in half that time and for half the cost. It's a good thing I love my family. But sometimes I wonder if I love them that much. A trip to Europe would sure be nice.
- Mostly, I'm lamenting the loss of our favorite Vermont Madsens, who currently have a moving van parked outside their house, preparing to move them across the country to Bozeman. Don't they know they aren't supposed to leave without us? How can they take SamandBef, Will's perfect cousin(s), away from us? How can Amy leave me to shop for swimsuits on my own? And how could they just sell their house, the house we put our blood, sweat and tears into, without even consulting us (or at least giving us a percentage of their earnings)? Who will love our kids like they do? Who will go on bike rides with us? Who will cook and eat a seven-course Thanksgiving dinner with us, complete with Rasmussen jello (that everyone claims they don't like yet it's the first thing to go)? And who will watch Elf with us every Christmas while eating Lil' Smokies and onion dip? If they leave, how will we ever resolve the Jeter vs. A-Rod dilemma? Really, I've been crying off and on all day just at the thought of it. I feel that with the loss of the Vermont Madsens, Will's losing his best friends and so are we. And it's making me feel lonely and friendless and homesick.
Well, there you have it, my grumblings in print. Hopefully, a good night's rest--and some Ben and Jerry's--will make everything look better in the morning. And hopefully, I can learn to be more like Nephi and less like Laman and Lemuel, though, let's be honest, it's not likely any time soon.....