Sunday, July 25, 2010

What I Want

{First, let me preface this with I know I have everything I need--I'm not naive enough to think for a second that I am not very, very blessed. But hey, if I got to choose the perfect world, then this is what I'd get}.
Here's a list of some of the few essentials I feel would make my life a whole heck of a lot easier.

  • A full-time cook. Seriously, I hate cooking dinner. It seems that most of my life revolves around the making, eating and cleaning up of some meal or another. For instance, right now I should be making dinner. But I'm not gonna. We're going to have pancakes for dinner. Again. There's no shame in that.
  • While we're talking, a full-time dish washer. Again, far too much of my time goes to this inane task.
  • A four-year-old brother for Will (or just any four-year-old boy who I can have on hand whenever I so desire). Those 4-year-old boys are the best kind--they entertain your child and are tough enough to take any of the beatings your child chooses to dish out at any given moment. My life would be a breeze.
  • A Sherpa. I only have one kid and the amount of junk I lug around amazes me. If I had a full-time Sherpa, I could get in and out of my car with ease, all while said Sherpa lugs around my child, my purse, my stroller and the inordinate amount of rubbish my child insists on taking with us everywhere.
  • Three hours of nursery, from the beginning of church to the end of it. I mean really, after Sacrament meeting I feel like I have been through WW III. And my bench looks like it's been through WW III. And my Sunday best, that I spent hours ironing, look like they've been through WW III.
  • A full-time mother's helper--someone who will always be here so I can go to the gym for an hour, shower in peace and change my child's diaper every time it needs to be done. Like, right now. Will has stinky pants on. Again.
  • The immaculate conception. As in, some how, miraculously conceiving without a vat of drugs, millions of doctor's visits and an entire team of doctors. Come on, I just want to be pregnant already.
  • On that note, to somehow, again miraculously, lose a good 10-15 pounds, all done without any exercise, dieting or any form of strain on my life.
  • To be on the show, "What Not to Wear" so I can clean out my entire closet and have $5,000 to buy an entirely new wardrobe with the help of a team of stylists (plus, you get a makeover. I soooooo would love a makeover). Wouldn't that be divine.

There's my list. I really don't think it's too much to ask. What's on your list?

But since I highly doubt I will receive any of these things (unless anyone wants to volunteer to be my Sherpa? My full-time dishwasher, anyone? Anyone?) I'll just have to console myself with these words I read while reading my scriptures this week, "Receiving something without effort will mean nothing" (from Doctrinal Commentary on the Book of Mormon by Joepsh Fileding McConkie, Robert L. Millet, and Brent L. Top). So, I guess I just better buck up and go make dinner already (pancakes is still an effort, right?).


jess said...

all of the above. PLEASE! i knew we had a lot in common, but seriously, with the exception of getting pregnant (which may be the case again one of these days, but not right now)I too want all of that. let me know if you figure out how to get it all. for cheap. when are you coming to UT next? it's been way too long!

Cookie, Jason, Olivia, and Mya said...

love the list and i will take one of almost everything too please!

JerzyGrl said...

Ditto. Madeline doesn't go to nursery yet, so I think I could use a pre-nursery class or something so I can actually pay attention at church!

The Jimmy Harry Family said...

I love your list, and only wish for an additional boost of energy at 10 at night when all is calm and no one is awake. That way, I can clean mop, do dishes and then know it will be clean for at least 8 hours before being covered in food, crumbs, crayons, paint, eggs legos and whatever is the toy of the day. You are the best! And, by the way, I love your kitchen chairs! Sooo cute!

Jane said...

"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want." Name that song and I'll give you a place to stay for free in NYC! Can't wait to see you!

bluestocking mama said...

lol! pancakes totally count. and i would also add a courier service. b/c i don't want to run to the store again, schlepping 3 kids along, for the bell pepper that i forgot but that i need for the fajitas i already started. they've got to have a spare bag boy or stock boy who can just take a quick jaunt by my house. is that so unreasonable?

Jeff and Erika Mitchell said...

Amen to it all! I think those things are what every Mom wants...We have pancakes once a week!

Madsen Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Danalin said...

You're hilarious. Love this list!

Megan said...

Seiously if I never had to cook another thing the rest of my life I would be the happiest girl in the world! Also I have a new appreciation for you and the IVF process. My experience was super hard and if I knew then what I know now I don't know if I would have signed up for it. Well, of course I would now that I have two beautiful babies! But really it was super hard. Worth it but still painful. Good luck! love ya!