Dear Baby Willy,
If you could be so kind and please see that you do the following for me, I would appreciate it greatly:
- Please, oh, please, stop pressing on my bladder. I MUST stop: waking up every two hours to use the restroom, going through a roll of toilet paper a day, knowing the fastest and quickest route to any given bathroom in all public arenas and, worst of all, I MUST, MUST, MUST stop wetting myself every time I laugh, cough, cry, blink, think, drink....
- Please, oh, please, kindly remove your feet from my ribs. It is imperative that I breathe and this rib-kicking is making it mighty difficult.
- Please, oh, please, STOP growing. I am determined that you will: A. be a small, 6-lb. baby, B. have a teeny-tiny head and C. be extra slippery. However, the doctors are telling me that A. you are a BIG boy, B. I am a BIG girl (as in extra heavy) and C. you are mighty comfy in this home I've created for you.
- Finally, please, oh, please, come on or before your due date. And while you're at it, see to it that you get here quickly, safely and, most of all, healthy (all while I am happily drugged with my heaven-sent epidural)!!!
I can't wait to meet you. See you in four weeks! (Or before, right?)!!!!
Love, Your Mama